Yesterday, I shared a bit of what I hope is a bit of Jedi power white magic for the classroom. Today's write up takes us down into the deep caverns of the dark side. But my thoughts lie like unfurled balls of yarn across the living room floor, so allow me to first reel them in for you.
YARN STRAND #1
On Saturday morning, I gave my first lecture in China to parents. The topic picked by popular demand was PARENTING IN THE US. Go figure. I get invited as a guest speaker on a topic I know nothing about. Although I have been able to decipher a few things on parenting thanks to the only true proven scientific method for up and coming dads: TRIAL AND ERROR, I most definitely know nothing about the "IN THE US" side of the ordeal. This wasn't the first time since being in China that I was lumped into the whole lot of what in the far East is known as America: one big overly deified blob of beauty and and near perfection. Ouch. Unsure exactly as to what pseudo parenting knowledge I could possibly offer, I at least was certain on how I was going to get the show rolling: Crash Course Introduction to Western Geography and Culture.
After losing half of the parents interest in anything I had to say due to my overly rehearsed rant trying to explain the K some of us have started to use when differentiating between the idea of America and a much vaster idea of what AMERIKA really is, I pulled out my scapegoat joker card from under my sleeve and took 'um all out for some game time, involving raw eggs of course. Brilliant recover-your-audience technique. (for more info please visit: www.howtosaveasmallaudiencethathaslostallinterestinyourdisertationriskingyourjobandthefuturewellbeingofyourfamily.com, GREAT STUFF! I have hung out there a lot over the years!)
YARN STRAND #2
We washed up and gathered back in the conference room and had quite a wonderful time together. I was quite taken by the straight to the heart of the matter participation of the parents. Until we struck a very interesting minor chord that seemed to dampen the the melodious major chords that had been keeping spirits high. One of the parents of a 5 year old girl expressed herself and I quote, "I am worried that my child has a problem with reading. She grew up with books and we have been practicing for quite some time now but she just doesn't get it". Wow. Can you feel the dark side creeping in?
In all honesty my "wow" was a double edged sword. Just this week while transitioning my kids and staff at the Caillou Kindergarten out of the "teacher signs each art piece" mode into getting them to start etching their own names, initials and/or lines, doom fell upon me: These Mandarin speaking kids can spell better in English than the bilingual, bookworm genius I bred and nurtured back in Costa Rica. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Breath Carl, breath. Your wife is just an email away. HONEEEEEEEEEY!!! We've gotta get Owen started on his spelling. Make Cards, post things everywhere!! He's late! I am worried he might have a...
Wait a minute. Who's the guy in charge here? I realized that the concerned mother's question was but an echo of the unsettling fears I had been through just a few days before stepping on stage as the one who had something to offer the world on the topic of parenting.
YARN STRAND #3
Thanks to the Great Spirits, this week I came across one of the many exchanges Confucius had with his followers:
"Does a gentleman also sometimes also find himself in adversity?" "Yes", replied Confucius, "a gentleman also sometimes finds himself in adversity, but when a common man finds himself in adversity, he forgets himself and does all sorts of foolish things."
Duh. Homer Simpson moment. I quickly collected myself and proceeded as a gentleman to confess to the audience my own sins of having lost my cool earlier this week as well. Admittedly, the urge to compare be it to a standard, peer or idea, has to be one of the hardest things to control as parents.
YARN STRAND #2 (again)
Sins purged, I jumped back into the title of expert I had been bestowed and spoke with conviction to the mom and the rest of the expectant audience. "Ma'am, we must be oh so careful with words such as "Problem" and "Worry". Worrying is really your only problem. You have done everything right. You have created an enriched environment for your child to thrive in. But remember that even the greatest of farmers, having done everything well can't make the rain fall before it is her time. Continue as you have and worry no more, in good time you will see the fruit of your toil.
THREAD #4
(and we are inching closer to collecting the entire wad)
Doomsday is coming for them all. And the Great Reaper in this Apocalyptic account carries the Scythe of Standardized Testing. Like one of the village boats men racing towards the sinking body of the great Chinese poet, Qu Yuan, when he cast himself into the Miliu river upon being vanished from the Chu Kingdom, all of us at Originateve are rowing together, putting all of our efforts towards keeping as many as we can away from such vicious, teeth grinding oblivion for our children. The irony in all of this is that we start the whole process of "standardization" at home! We give into the dark side manifested in ideas such as: "I think my son has a problem", "He needs more phonics", "His spelling is rough", "He skips letter J" and so on and so forth. Any remedial action taken to cure these hypochondria is black magic at its best. So instead, just continue to water the seed. In its own time it will sprout.
THREAD #5: The Black Wizard
Way back in the day, I had a High School teacher who I vaguely recall save for a time he gave us the untask of not watching TV for a week. I had no idea what this would do for me. Now, my kids are growing up in a house without a TV and I have entire families trusting his once-insane-to-me advice.
Recently I caught up with Paul Darvasi who is Media and English instructor at Royal St. George's College in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. He had just finished writing up what he claims to be the one-size-fits-all-only-matched-by-the-holy-grail report card comment. Check it:
"Sam is enrolled in the class and has been notified of all assignment deadlines. He has been granted the opportunity to learn and review class material, and has responded accordingly. Sam tends to absorb the elements of the course that do not escape him. His potential remains intact, and his ability to succeed depends on a number of internal and external factors. I have noted Sam's behavior, and will continue to monitor his attendance. One might say that Sam approaches the course much like many other aspect of his life. I have no doubt that, in the years ahead, Sam will reap what he sows."
Welcome to the dark side people. This wizardry is only matched by that of Voldemort himself.
My words of woe in all of this are: Be wary that what your child is on paper may not truly be your child at all. Likewise whom you feel your child is may not be who he/she is. You are going need some magic to decode that one, just make sure its of the white kind.
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