A Scary Way to Help our kids Overcome Fears and Anxieties

    

MasterTree Kindergarten approaches safety by easing children into a relationship with elements of danger. Research demonstrates that sheltering children from danger does not in actuality create lasting protection for children but instead increases the likelihood of being hurt. Children safely introduced to danger are better able to recognize potential hazards and avoid the possibility of peril.  A child who has spent little time in the woods is more prone to getting hurt than a child who has developed a relationship with the different elements of nature in a forest. Each environment is not the same for any two individuals. Children shielded from exploring and taking risks are more naive.  The unknown poses a far greater threat and requires heavier assistance to navigate potential threats. 

This educational philosophy is best understood through our world class curriculum, but is, likewise, speckled all through our daily activities: Zao Jun Cooking, Old Mac Donald's workshop, our rooftop garden and animal area etc…

Similar to this model is our approach to building up strong emotional intelligence within our children by allowing moments of encounters with fears. Our 4 annual gatherings around the fire, our 2 annual sleepover parties, and especially our Halloween curriculum are essential aspects of our holistic curriculum that seek to allow create real opportunities for our children to encounter their fears in close proximity to caretakers that can guide them into a healthy relationship with that which frightens us. 

As children grow, many parents notice that their once-fearless preschooler is suddenly scared of the dark, frightened by thunderstorms, or convinced there are monsters hiding under the bed. Each child has a different time-clock for when fear becomes a recognizable and addressable response to a given situation. These emergences are signs of growth of awareness and abstract thinking. For this reason, we may be surprised to often see some of our youngest children at play with the scariest monsters of our Halloween curriculum. It's natural for children to develop childhood fears-it's part of their normal growth and development. As kids try to comprehend the world around them, they are not entirely sure of what's fantasy and what's reality, so their imagination can create incredible things, like monsters. Some of the most common fears experienced by young children are the dark, thunderstorms, monsters, animals and loud noises. Embracing those fears intentionally within a safe community can provide the necessary environment to generate life long skills in autonomous emotional management.

3 WAYS TO GUIDE OUR KIDS TOWARDS INNER STRENGTH

1. BE THERE FOR THEM

AT SCHOOL     - Children often encounter these scary experiences on their own. Bringing Halloween close to our children, allows for children to feel our support and comfort in the moment of fear. Their fears are not dismissed rather embraced. We observe their individual responses and guide them towards their next step of inner strength.

AT HOME     - You can also help your children at home by bringing them closer to possible fears. Some children may not yet sleep in their own bedroom, some may not yet sleep with the light off. Don't be afraid to allow them to grow into deeper stages of relationships with being alone or in the dark. 

2. FIND MOMENTS TO TALK

AT SCHOOL - An essential component of our Halloween curriculum is the time allotted during special circle for kids to share their fears and acknowledge that fear as something that is valid.   Find your calm and reassuring voice and then watch them learn to find their own, internal, calm and reassuring voice. 

AT HOME - Finding moments of dialogue at home is also essential to a proper processing and emotional maturation within our children. Encourage your child to talk about his or her fears so he or she can learn to gain control over the fear. Show your child ways to cope with fears, such as taking deep breaths or keeping a flashlight by the bed.

3. MODEL THE CHILD YOU WANT YOUR KID TO BE!

AT SCHOOL - Children often pick up on fear from the adults they are around. By interacting with Halloween at school, our children are able to see the fearlessness in the adults and even some of their peers. This helps them know how to respond to feelings of fear. 

AT HOME - Parents can also help with this process by encountering the various halloween characters upon arrival at school. It is important for parents to model a calm approach to confronting fears in achievable steps, rather than allowing children to avoid all of life's moments that contain anxiety.

Letter to Staff on Holy Disruption

September 11, 2020

Shishi, Fujian - PRC

Dear Team, 

Today's lunch was disruptive and at this kindergarten, now (and I hope always) that is absolutely welcome! I am a fan of disruption. Many take disruption too far and advocate for anarchy, others conform too much. Both extremes are futile. The secret is finding the Yin-yang in it all. Adequate and responsible disorder is an art that few understand, and far less can do well. 

The longer you have been at MT, the more you have witnessed this type of holy misconduct. Penny and Carmen are the most fortunate of all. They have witnessed every single moment of insanity. A few of my favorite memories of madness are: 

1. MT Water Wars

2. Parents jump fires with little babies in their arms

3. Burying bones in sandpits for epiphanic learning

4. Classroom Forts

5. Secretly carrying out a curriculum of world class (though legally we should only have one outing a month)

...and many more. 

Back to our lunch today. This is week 2. Lunch feels stagnant. Mechanical. ...and in the simplest of terms: BORING. I severely dislike the corona virus protocols that no longer allow us to execute our Zao Jun curriculum we so beautifully created together over the last 3 years. And so, that is what happened. I needed some ROCK AND ROLL. 

To all who felt bothered: I look forward to your equal or better disruption of lunch with some artful disruption of your own. Consider this a competition. Who can turn our boring lunches into the most fun? And please, don't use your ordinary duty as an excuse! If you take the role of being on stage, and then running around chasing the kids with Vick, and then rallying all but 7 of our children to head down to an early nap, I will gladly take your place with our slow-eaters. We are a team, we need to know how to wear different hats. I can feed, wipe butts, dance like an idiot, tell a story and write a goddam manifesto in favor of holy disruption. And I love it all! 

To all those who joined in the singing of QUEEN's: WE WILL ROCK YOU. Thank you. 

I did make one mistake: I forgot to put the climbing toy back in its place behind the stage. 

I have one last confession to make: Learning the skill of being a menace has not been easy. It requires a sound dose of luck, primarily in the form of great Mentors of Disruption. The list of blessed-wretched-havoc-makers I have learned from is not necessarily long, but each and everyone lives through me in moments like today's lunch. Among the best of them is: Dr. Seuss, renown author of books for children (ages 1 to 89.3).

Long before writing children's stories, Dr. Seuss was already stirring trouble in the world of global politics with his anti-war comics. He was loathed by many, and loved by others. (See picture below). He eventually gave up on trying to change the hearts of big children (aka adults). He became convinced that the only true possibility of revolution was to be found in the hearts of children. I have a similar story to tell on how I gave up on trying to change big people and decided to work with preschoolers but that's a story for another time: I've already been too longwinded and should probably get to some sort of point:

Consider THE CAT IN THE HAT. Think carefully about the storyline. What can we learn from this book which our MT kids probably know better than we do? Is the Cat a character we should avoid? Is his disruption a setback? Who are you in the story? 

a) The bored child that finds nothing to do on a rainy day? 

b) Or are you the Cat causing messes? 

c) Perhaps you feel more like Thing 1 or Thing 2?

3) Or are you the foot of the mother coming home instilling fear in all those who just want to play—even if it's raining outside?

I know who I am, and how I try to live. And I want nothing more from anyone who wants to responsibly consider the art of teaching. This is not Beiling or Montesorri. This is MT! 

With deep love, 

Carl Emmons (MA)

MT Teaching Director